DSC Newsletter January 2021

January 2021

It has been a long time since the Club has met and we are all, I am sure, missing our contacts with fellow artists. On a hopeful note, we will soon all have had the anti-covid jab – let’s pray that it works – and things will then gradually return to normal. Some of our members are producing large amounts of art work during this time. Others, myself included, are not so productive – other things seem to have taken over our days.
Down to Business
As you already know, the committee has decided that the £30 Club membership fee which you paid last year, will be extended to cover 2021 without further payment. This seems only fair as there has been little on offer at the Club during 2010. Fortunately, our financial position is strong enough to cover this loss in income although our new Treasurer, David Llewellyn, says that we must be prepared to pay £5 per session when we are active again. The cost of possible coach trips will also have to be carefully considered before they are given the green light.
At this time of year it is usual to hold an A.G.M. This time we cannot have such a meeting. Thankfully, all the present committee members are willing to continue in their roles for a further year. Obviously, the A.G.M. will be held as soon as the present restrictions allow - and what a relief it will be, for all of us, when such a meeting can be called.  
Not much is happening in the club at this time, but Magdalena has kindly organised a weekly ‘paint in’. She suggests a title each week for interested members to paint. Your efforts should be sent to her on Face Book or email so that they can be displayed on the Club Face Book web site. Do have a go.
A Bit of Fun
My wife had a conversation over the fence  with a neighbour who told her that everyone should be very careful because people are going crazy from being locked down at home. She really thought that was funny and laughed wildly as she made her way into the kitchen door..
She discussed this silly idea with the microwave and the toaster while drinking a cup of tea, and they both agreed that things are getting bad. She didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine, because that puts a different spin on everything. Certainly she couldn’t share it with the fridge, ‘cause he’s been acting cold and distant!
In the end, the iron straightened her out! It told her that  the situation wasn’t all that pressing and that all the wrinkles would soon be ironed out!
The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic. It told her to just suck in a deep breath.
The fan was very optimistic, giving her hope that it will all blow over soon.!
The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when she asked its opinion,
However, the front door said she was becoming unhinged and the door knob told her to get a grip!
You can just guess what the curtains said to her: They told me to pull herself together.
With any luck we will survive

Puns, for those who enjoy them
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Practise safe eating - always use condiments.
Shot-gun wedding - A case of wife or death.
 A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted – T’aint yours and t’aint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, You've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Published 29th January 2021